Today in church, our Pastor did something different during prayer time. Instead of asking for prayer requests, he asked for joys, you know the good news. As I listened to him, all I could think about was what was there to be joyful or grateful for.  The love of my life has Alpha Lima Sierra. My family is in crises mode and my heart is sad. This happens. We are up, we are down. Depends on the day, night, hour or minute we have had or are having. It’s hard and takes a lot of energy to not be in this mindset. For me, not sure if its just my nature, because I don’t recall being like this before we lost the twins and our baby boy, but I tend to be a planner now AND worrier. So my mind is constantly going. Explains why sleep doesn’t come easy for me these days. When we were asked to share our joys, I closed my eyes and asked Him what are my joys. Sometimes you have to stop talking (the chatter in my head), be still and listen.  It was then my heart heard the answer to my question. Actually several joys filled my heart.

The Big He is still walking. He is slower, but he still walks. He can still use his arms and hands. He can hold my hand (which I absolutely love) and still give hugs. He can still do things with the Little He. The Big He can still talk. He can still tell Little He and I that he loves  us. The Big He is still breathing on his own. These are all HUGE in an Alpha Lima Sierra life. His progression has not been super quick. Thank you Lord. Thank you for these blessings.

So, while I did not share my joy/blessings at church today, I wanted to share them now.  I know me and I know that the fear and stress that comes with this disease will take center stage in my thoughts again but I also know I need to make it a point to stop, be still and listen too.

All my love,

The She

I wanted to also encourage you to see the movie Gleason if you have not. We saw it last weekend and it is an amazing look into world of ALS. Gleason is available through Amazon and iTunes.